The holiday season isn’t all sunshine and rainbows for some of us, myself included at one point on my journey. With a deeply seeded need for human connection, loneliness can quickly become a common emotional habit over the holiday season. Listen in as I share the difference between loneliness and aloneness and the thought patterns driving the loneliness plus how you can begin to transform your experience into a better feeling one.
In this video:
- One Day Habit and Behavior Change Intensives with Maya, click here
- The Online Habit and Behavior Change Life Course Curriculum, click here
Hey there friend, it’s Maya, behavioral registered dietitian, founder at Healthy Habit’s Solutions and creator of the online curriculum of life courses designed to help you, not just looking to loose weight but cultivate well being, whole health and well being in both body and mind through a believe system in our own enoughness. Helping you learn how to change your physical habits, emotional habits, thought habits, and ultimately cultivating enoughness on the journey to becoming the very best possible version of yourself.
I just came from teaching how to transform stress habits at CVS Health. A good friend of mine, Tamra, she’s an amazing beautiful woman, who works in social psychology. We were just talking about why the holidays are not good for some people. Why they’re just not what their all kind of cracked up to be. You know the holidays are supposed to be this time of happiness and joy and coming together. Well so many of us has heightened emotions, heightened raw emotions in this journey at this point throughout the holidays. I know that I did at one point too. They were just hard. And if it wasn’t about the food anymore the emotions were inflamed. Those emotions of either depression or sadness or overwhelm or anxiety, or stress, or loneliness. They were just inflamed and raw because you weren’t over eating or binging anymore to cover any of that up. Or drinking too much or any other controlling behavior and mechanism that might have been sweeping those old emotions under the rug.
We were talking about loneliness predominantly being one of the main emotions that’s driving that for so many people. My intention with this video for you this week is to bring of some awareness into how you’re viewing the loneliness. Now, remember on this journey is that our thoughts drive our emotions. Our thoughts drive our emotions. We feel what we fell because of what we think. Meaning that if we want to change what it is that we’re feeling we change the channel upstairs. But there’s habitual ways of living and existing. If you’ve always felt stress and anxiety and overwhelm and loneliness, those are common emotions on your journey and it’s our job to learn from those and move those on. But behind that there are thought patterns that are driving that as well. Loneliness being a predominant emotion that we feel on this journey a lot, especially around the holidays, loneliness for a lack of connection with the loved ones in our lives not being able to…. There’s thought patterns behind that. There’s fears, old belief systems, insecurities that are old habits and patterns that are driving that loneliness emotion.
So, I would like to ask you today and I’d like you to pose the question to yourself is how is it your viewing your loneliness? You can view your loneliness as loneliness or you can view your loneliness as aloneness. Loneliness has a very negative state to it. It has a very negative feel to it. It’s something that is an unpleasant taste in the mouth and loneliness. Which can be rooted and thought patterns like I said in any kind of fear or old belief system or habitual way of thinking. When we have that lack of disconnect, because that’s really what we’re driven by is a connection with other humans. From the very people who we love, from our parents to our brothers to our sisters to our family to our friends. When we don’t feel that immediate connection we’re reaching outsides of ourselves for a connection or have some expectation around a connection that we’re not receiving.
So we view that as loneliness, leaving that negative state or negative taste in our mouth. Whereas aloneness is the presence of one’s self. The presence being okay. It’s a much more positive, feel good kind of way to view this state of aloneness is through aloneness and having the presence of oneself being okay with just it being you and not having to control any type of connection. So if you’re feeling that loneliness I encourage you to ask yourself how you’re viewing it. What are the thought patterns, possibly fears, insecurities, belief systems that are driving the loneliness and how can you transform that… Transform the loneliness into aloneness, where it becomes the presence of one’s self and you find much more clarity and calm and stress free emotion in that.
There’s one day intensives that I’m starting that I’m very, very excited to start in the new year. And I don’t know how often they’re going to go but January 21st is the very first one where you’re going to learn. You spend a whole day intensive with me, how to change physical habits, emotional habits, thought habits, and ultimately cultivate more enoughness in our lives. Because the state of aloneness is cultivated from belief system of your own enoughness: knowing that you are good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, perfect enough, beautiful enough, and good enough just the way that you are. That you being you and you in your own presence is more than enough.
Have a wonderful week. Happy holidays. Bye.